Was it good? Yes.
Was it worth it? I think so, but the guilt? So heavy.
Before I get too far into giving you all the juicy details, I cheated on my diet. Hold on before you flip the page, you might want to hear what this is about.
We have all cheated in one-way or another. The definition I am going for with this is ‘unfaithfulness’. It could be on your diet, on your solid work-plan, on the gym, on your hairdresser or barber, your favourite bar, your mechanic. I know I have cheated on my beautician more than once. And each time I go back humbly to my day-one beauty service provider because she is the only one I can truly afford. She sits squarely within my budget.
I digress.
There are so many reasons people are unfaithful, and many self-help sources available to us explaining this phenomenon. Dr. Google has no shortage of articles about that.
So for you who has been unfaithful, the only parallel I can offer is my tumultuous relationship with food. Food is my long-lost love, my soul-mate, my lover, whom I cheated on. I present to you, my anti-love letter to the love of my life, Food:
Dear Food,
I cheated, and here’s why:
- I wasn’t ready for this level of commitment
Honey, we got together too fast. That fad diet that promised to give me a 6 pack in a week was a lie. You didn’t warn me that I would be hungry the whole time! Also, you weren’t upfront that all I would be allowed to drink was water and some strange concoction that I agreed to only because I had strong feelings for you.
So, I got home, to all this food in the fridge but no ready meals, no leftovers, nothing. The thought of cooking and preparing you was just out of the question. I don’t have a personal chef, so, I grabbed a cookie in a monumental manifestation of laziness. Why? Because I wasn’t ready for you in my life, and you require effort.
- Something’s missing
Yes, something really IS missing in your fundamental nature; the ability to cook yourself. Is it too much to ask, that you would magically find yourself put together like something off the TV food channels we watch together all the time? Must I actually get up and make you into something palatable? Also, we can’t be doing the same thing every day. Sweetheart, I am bored. Please, let’s try and switch things up a bit.
- Too expensive when we travel
Also, babe, why is it that when you are in a regular restaurant, I can afford you, but as soon as you find yourself in a hotel room service menu, you are suddenly twice the price? Why don’t you include tax and service charge to your cost so I know what I am getting into when I order for you to be brought to my room? Please, who is responsible for this?
- Trapped
Dear Food, why is it that when I try to make the right choices with you, I feel a little trapped? Like, why is our relationship so abusive? I try my hardest to eat a salad, then your cousin, the burger, comes through looking very alluring when I’ve been bending over backwards munching this carrot over here, trying to stay faithful. Why wont you let me prosper?
- I’m just not that into you
Darling, whilst Brussels sprouts and cauliflower are good for me, every now and then I’m going to have to go around the corner and have a milkshake. I want to be physically attractive but I am not a rabbit. Please, give me a free pass at some pork ribs every now and then, and I promise to be faithful during the week.
- It was an accident
It’s true. I had been eating clean and healthy for so long, and our relationship was going so well. There I was, moody, sad…lonely. All I wanted was a hug in my stomach, which I really hadn’t gotten for so long. Then traffic was really bad and I passed by you-know-who’s house and…well, I walked in and your best friend “Frenchy French” (a.k.a. French fries) was right there. I didn’t mean to, but, I did. You know I’m an African Woman, and we never say no to food offered to us in another African home. I tried to try to say no, but the words wouldn’t leave my mouth.
So, there you have it, those were the reasons I cheated on my diet.
As with all things Apparently Good, I won’t just leave you out to dry without good advice. When you try to eat right, your body rebels, and it is so easy to fail.
HOW CAN YOU REACH SUCCESS?
- Prepare meals in advance.
- Don’t allow yourself to get too hungry. Carry some healthy snacks with you to munch as you go about your day.
- Stock your pantry with whole, less processed foods so they are available to you at all times.
- Tell a friend, so they can keep you accountable. Choose this person wisely, some people have no concern for your health and fitness goals.
- If you slip once, you haven’t lost everything. Make your next meal a healthy one and keep it moving. Dust yourself off and keep trying
- You are human, be kind to yourself.
Now go forth, and prosper. Healthy living is within your grasp.
